Sorry I haven't posted anything.

I've been on my silly little tumblr, as of lately:

http://theornerycolonel.tumblr.com/

So, you can check me out there.

-The Colonel

S.T.O.P vs. S.C.U.M

What does the title of this post refer to?
Good question, the answer is it refers to a "line" of toys I bought from a Dollar Tree recently.

Due to this wonderful site, I had an itching for some bootleg toys, one of my "guilty" pleasures. (Not sure why I put quotation marks around guilty. Maybe because it's "guilty" in the sense that I'm "wasting" some money on them?).

I went to a Family Dollar at first, but, unfortunately (fortunately?), they didn't have any bootlegs. Yes, they were selling licensed stuff! (Though I could've sworn they sold bootlegs. Maybe that store that I went to long ago and remembered as a Family Dollar wasn't actually a Family Dollar.)

But, with a little hope, I went to the Dollar Tree right next door to it.

Unfortunately, they didn't have any bootlegs/knockoffs either (I was especially looking for these Transformers knock-offs I'd seen at another Dollar Tree, but I couldn't find them), but I got some other "gems" instead.

The name of the series of figures is "S.T.O.P. vs. S.C.U.M."

The box art is actually very nice! As for the figures, well, I can't say as much.

Oh, here's the backstory for these guys:

Before I start on the figures, I should tell you this is my first time reviewing any sort (of figures), so forgive me if it doesn't seem like a "regular" toy review, I'm a newbie at this.

Anyway, let's start with Patriot, the first man pictured on the S.T.O.P (Special Tactics Operative Patrol) side!

Patriot's backstory:

I'm surprised they give these figures any sort of backstory! I'm especially surprised that they gave each individual figure their own backstory! Don't see that too much with cheap little toys!

I just now realized that this whole "Armageddon Wars" isn't taking place on any U.S. soil.

Didn't want to give kids any ideas, I guess?

Just kidding.

I wouldn't be surprised if Patriot's story is similar to one of the G.I. Joe's, since these figures reminded me of those. But I'm too lazy to check. Maybe later.

Here's a close-up of Patriot's face:

As you can see, he looks a little tweaked. 'Gotta be ready for battle, I suppose.
And this is where the "quality" of the figures starts to "shine" through.
But I only paid a buck for each of them, as the saying goes, I guess I get what I paid for.

Here's Patriot's tattoo:

I'm pretty sure the tattoos were stuck on with appliques (if I'm using the right word), because on the other figures it appeared as if their tattoos had rubbed off (more than likely rather easily).

Here's Patriot's weapon:

If it's based off of any real gun, I would have no idea, as I'm not knowledgeable about guns.

Here's Tank, the third man pictured on the S.T.O.P side:

As you can see, he's got the same tweaked look as Patriot.

Here's his backstory:

His backstory has some stereotypes in it ("His Native American blood runs strong in his veins"? I could understand him just being Native American, but there's really no point to put it as if it's a skill. Maybe I'm just over-analyzing it.), and reminds me of the backstories for G.I. Joe's Spirit and Airborne:

Anyway, here's his tattoo:



It's rubbed off a little. You can tell because it's pictured how it's supposed to appear on his card.

Here's his weapon:

Once again, I wouldn't know whether or not this is based off an actual type of gun.
As you can see, the weapons are molded into their hands, so I'm not sure why the packaging says "Weapons included!" as if they're removable or something of the sort. I guess so it seems like you're getting more for your buck?
Shoddy paint job, as you can see. It's clear that the weapon was the same color as his skin and was painted black. They didn't completely finish the handle of his gun, it looks as if it was lightly spray-painted.

I couldn't find Reco, pictured in the middle on the S.T.O.P side, so I don't have the complete set of good guys.
(I'm not even sure this "series" is still available at Dollar Stores. Guess I'll have to check.)

And now for S.C.U.M (Street Coalition Urban Militia), the evil-doers in this apocalyptic/Armageddon/whatever world!

Lady Lead, the gal pictured first on the S.C.U.M side of the packaging:

Here's her backstory/card:

Never heard the phrase/term "earned her bones" before. Not even sure it's a real one.
If she fancies herself an Amazon warrior, then she should lob her breast off to be a true one. But maybe I'm over-analyzing things again.

I like to think she's in a secret relationship with either Skull Hawk (you'll see him next) or developed a secret one with Reco (who, as I stated before, couldn't find). I say "secret" because it says she has "a deep rooted hatred and disdain for all men", but I like to think otherwise.
Maybe I just like giving them more of a backstory. Or I'm just a hopeless romantic.
Both, I suppose.

If you're wondering why the text on the card is slightly slanted/broken, it's because I accidentally moved the box a little while it was scanning.

Here's a close-up shot of Lady Lead:

Here paint job is pretty terrible, too.
It's clear that the plastic her body is made of is grey, and the painters/machines (I'm guessing they're painted by machines) spray-painted over it. The skin color on it doesn't even match the tone of her head and arms.
It's also clear that her mohawk is red (see the S.C.U.M logo), not black, but I guess painting it black saved time.

Here's her weapon:

I can tell that this is a pistol. I think anyone can tell.
She has a pistol in her other hand, too.

Here's Skull Hawk, the guy pictured in the middle of the S.C.U.M side:

Here's his card:

I think Skully would be the quiet type. (Yes, I nicknamed him Skully.)
But since he's pictured in the middle, it seems like he'd be the leader, and usually a leader doesn't fare too well if they're the quiet type.

Here's his tattoo:

The one I picked up is the only one I could find with a decent mask, and it still looks pretty terrible:

It looks like he was wearing that mask when he suffered that severe burn incident, and that the flames welded it onto his flesh.

That look of his also screamed (to me, at least) that he was secretly a nice guy. Maybe I've just seen that in movies too much. You know, like he's also working undercover?
I'm giving these figures too much of a backstory, it seems.

In order to get a better mask, I guess I had to trade something up.
You see, this Skull Hawk doesn't come with his weapon:

As far as I can tell, they either attached the wrong hand/arm, or (obviously) forgot to meld his weapon to his hand.
Still, I would guess they just melded on the wrong hand, as the "weapon hands" probably had the weapon already welded onto them, then were attached to the figures.

And here's the last figure of the bunch, Cyclops!

I just now noticed that his eyepatch should be on his other eye, as that's how it appears in the S.C.U.M logo.
Here's his card:

Because Brazil would totally have legit surgical procedures.
I just wonder if the laboratory created the human half, or if Cyclops' human half comes from someone.
(And if that person was being punished for something, so he was taken in by the Brazilian government who "donated" them to the corporation that created him.
Did he have a family? Does he remember his past life, or did he have his memory wiped out by said corporation and is now under control by the robot half? Does his memory come in bits and pieces at times? Does the emotion that may still lie in the human half sometimes override the robot half?
So many questions that will never be answered.)
Then again, the description on the back of all of their cards suggests that I have rule over their fate, so I guess I can come up with these questions and unneeded backstories.

I didn't take any pictures of his tats, but here's his weapon:

No idea what kind of gun it is, nor does it look like any real type of gun.

Now it's time for ratings!

Packaging: 3 out of 5
The packaging features some very nice artwork and is neatly arranged. Still, the way these figures were actually put into the bubble leaves much to be desired.

Looks: 2 out of 5
While there's certainly nothing wrong with the basic shape of (most) of the figures, the painting on these guys is terrible, and some of the mistakes could have been easily avoidable/fixed.
But as someone else put in another review of these toys (which is linked to down below), they do feature small details sculpted into them, which I've rarely ever seen on Dollar Store figures.

Articulation: Not Available
I wanted to keep these bad boys (and girl) in their packages. Don't ask me why, I just do.
So no articulation score on this review.
(But I'm guessing the articulation on these figures is loose, being that they look like/are more than likely made out of cheap and/or hollow plastic.)

Play Value: Not Available
Some reason as above.
I feel like they're easy to break, though, and knowing how kids are with action-figures, I'm not sure how long they'd last.

Overall Score: 5 out of 10
This figures are above the par of most Dollar Tree toys, having things about them rarely seen on others (nice packaging, detail in the sculpting, etc.). But I feel like they had more potential to them, and that, as I've said before, some of their mistakes could have been easily avoidable/fixed.

I hope whoever's reading this has enjoyed it, and expect to see some more toy reviews. (Though I'm not sure how soon.)
I also hope the layout/organization of this review looked alright. I plan to change it a little, and any recommendations as to what else could be changed/added would be very helpful! Just leave me a comment if you wish to.

Hello.

I regret that I haven't been posting anything.

School has kept me busy, as it does with most people.

Hopefully I will have something to flitter away about soon.